huh?

I have wanted to blog for a long time. I used to love to write and friends and family told me I was actually pretty amusing. The trouble is, in recent years, due to circumstances too many to name, I have lost my passion for just about everything. No, make that everything.

My life changed drastically over 7 years ago. I no longer knew myself and had no reason to discover the new me. I no longer liked myself.

OK, so that was almost a decade ago, time to move on, make a life and figure out who I am, what I want to do, what I am passionate about and how I can do it.

Below, I have listed the things I used to do all the time; those which raised my ire, gave me joy and made me happy.

1. Dog rescue/rehabilitiation/ training
2. Native gatherings
3. Family
4. Friends
5. Walking/hiking/picking up trash
6. Prayer
7. Writing
8. Reading
9. Prison reform
10. Environmental issues
11. Swimming/ocean/beaches (any kind)
12. Sobriety/wellbriety
13. Our Veterans
14. Ceremony
15. Music

This is the short list. There are more and as I think of them I will add to it.

My intention is to to dissect these and figure out why I am no longer able to bring my passion to the surface. A lot has happened in the last 7 years. I am going to really try hard not to rehash all that old excrement. I have moved on in many ways. But, I find myself unable to put myself out there. In part because just cannot imagine how or what I can do in my current physical condition.

It's getting close to noontime, I have ridden my new stationary bike a half a mile today, at about 7mph. It's 67 degrees outside and the wind (and dirt) is blowing. I have been cooking beans all morning, to make beans and rice for this week's consumption and now it is just time to get out there with the giant speckled chihuahua.