The Berner Report: November 30, 2010

Dorothea, Alf's mom, and I have tried, on numerous occasions, to catch up with each other. We were finally successful last night!


We miss Alf terribly and each morning I look in my mailbox, hoping for an update on Alf. This morning my wish came true.

Alf is doing great! He's adjusted, wonderfully, to life in civilization. He has a growing fan club, both canine and human.

Most importantly Alf loves and is loved by his family, more and more each day! He and his sister, Sophie, are inseparable.


coming

and going

like they're attached at the hip.

Sophie seems to know that Alf is "speshul" and makes allowances his quirks and anxieties. She IS the angel she portrayed on Halloween!


Alf tried on a few costumes before deciding which suited him best.

The wig wasn't working for him


He looked dapper in the hat!

But, Sophie rocked the hat-look, too!


Finally, he chose the pirate-look

Once a rebel, always a rebel!

Alf and Sophie greeted trick-or-treaters at the door. I'm thrilled to death (and not surprised) that Alf loves kids!

As much as we miss Alf, I am pretty sure he never would have made the adjustment to civilized dog in Dirtville. Dorothea and her family have provided a life of opportunities for Alf that I simply could not, living in dirtville.

Last night, we spoke, for about an hour. Dorothea told me many stories of Alf's adjustments and escapades.

Alf still suffers from anxiety if left for extended periods, so he has a dog sitter come in when he's left for longer than hour.

No kenneling for Alf, he still can't deal!

Remember how much work it took to get him in the car? Now, there's nothing he likes better than going for a ride!

Dorothea wrote, "...It was great talking with you tonight. Here are a few pictures as promised. Alphy is the sweetest little boy, Sophie truly loves him. Poor Alphy has to put up with a lot...
Just cannot thank you enough for our sweet little boy."

As always, my heart overflows with gratitude to Alf's family for opening their hearts and home to this special dog.

If you're a new visitor to our blog, The Berner (now known as Alphonso Bernard Jacob Scout Billy Bob Berner)was a semi-feral dog trying to survive in the Mohave Desert.

Through the Pawer of the Paw Alf has a family of his own, He's living, well-loved and happily ever after, in sunny SoCal.

The Berner's story can be read in the posts listed below, in chronological order. If you don't have time, now, Alf's story can be read, at your leisure, by clicking his picture on my side bar.
#1 Who's been sitting in my chair?
#2 Runnin' with the big dawgs
#3 There's a Berner in my living room!
#4 He's everywhere!
#5 He's gone
#6 The Berner: coming and going
#7 Berner News
#8 The Weekly Berner Report (March 28 - April 3)
#9 The Weekly Berner Report (April 3 - April 10)
#10 The Weekly Berner Report (April 10 - April 17);
#11 The Weekly Berner Report (April 17 - April 24)
#12 The Weekly Berner Report (April 24 - May 1)
#13 The Berner (aka Alphonso Bernard Jacob Scout Billy Bob Berner) Report: May 1 - May 8
#14 The Weekly Berner Report: May 8 - May 15
#15 The Weekly Berner Report: May 15 - 22
#16 The Berner Report: May 22 - May 29
#17 The Weekly Berner Report: May 29 - June 5
#18 The Weekly Berner Report: June 5 - 12
#19 The Weekly Berner report: June 14 - 19
#20 The Weekly Berner Report: June 27 - July 3 (Experts weigh in, please)
#21 The Weekly Berner Report (July 3 - July 10)
#22 The Weekly Berner Report, July 17, The Details and Boatlaods of Gratitude
#23 July 20: Vegas, Baby!
#24 The Berner Report: New Beginnings, July 23
#25 The Berner Report: August 7th Update
#26 The Berner Report: September 13, 2010

Goooooood Morning! Happy Monday!

Are you awake?


It's 5am, already! I'm hungry!


Retired? What's that?


Well, I just thought an early breakfast might be in order


Wait! You're sure you don't want to get up, yet?


I suppose, if you're sure, I can wait just a little while longer...


*this series of photos took place with Stumpy on my gut, at 5am

Stumpy is making her list and checking it twice

She's all ready for Black Friday!


#10
She'd like one of these to roll around the floor!


#9
"Obey The ACD" poster, (just in case anyone's confused.)



The Australian Cattle Dog is a Dictator, bent on world domination. They already rule houses everywhere with an iron paw, and have influenced global politics for years.
The ACD uses cows and humans as mere pawns in their diabolical global world domination plot.
Now you can show your support for the ACD Revolution while informing others that they must, "Obey the ACD!"
When the Australian Cattle Dogs take over, will you be spared as one of the lucky ones?

#8
A diamond collar!
Love Dogs Diamonds features several. Stumpy's chosen the more casual and less expensive "L'Étoile."


L'Étoile features five brilliant-shaped diamonds of over 1.5 carats, each set along a stylish ostrich leather band. Its additional 400 hand-set diamonds give this exquisite, 27-carat piece the sparkle of a clear night sky.
$518,000

#7
A new chair!


"...Here you can relax tired feet like royalty.
The magnificent throne is occupied with sixteen sparkling White or Black Diamonds Crystals from Swarovski.
The crystals are the crowning glory of the classic "English Stitch", which is surrounded by a monochromatic Passepartout.

Wilbur is a lovingly crafted handmade pet furniture with soft padding for comfortable sleeping comfort. Inside the solid wood frame ensures long-term dimensional stability. The mattress cover fabric and the backs are removable and washable.
The furniture will fit dogs from Chihuahua (xs) and Shepherd (l).
$1344.75 USD???"

#6
The Bow Lingual (in red, please!)


"Now people can understand their dogs better than ever before with a gadget that translates doggy talk into human words," claims the product description of the Bow Lingual.

It goes on to claim that it " ... has dogs saying things like 'I'm feeling great!,' 'It's so annoying!,' and 'Come on, play with me!'" Some other doggy quotes that they carelessly neglected to leave out were, "I know what you've been doing with the peanut butter you scoundrel!" and "I'll pray a thousand prayers for thy death."

It's been tested...

Dog Fun!:
Bowlingual


#5
She'd like her very own pack 'o' puppies



#4
A week at Chateau Poochie!


#3
A new dog house!!!


Who’s the lucky pooch that calls this humble $30,000 abode home? This casa belongs to the pets of actress/model Rachel Hunter and is a scaled-down version of her California house.



You can find your dream house at Woman's Day.com

and...
#2
The Hamburger Bed!




Stumpy has one more item to add to her list...

Stumpy's got attitude

An attitude of gratitude

Stumpy and I are visiting elders and delivering turkey dinners to shut-ins in our community, today.

As is usual, on a holiday, I am unable to get a line out of dirtville to call my family to tell them how much I love them and how grateful I am to be a part of such a wonderful and giving family. To my Son, my Mom and Dad, my four sisters, my brother (and their spouses), my legion of nephews and two nieces, my aunt, and my cousins,

"Ig'wien."

I am grateful

A prayer for the people

"All My Relations" written and sung by Ulali

Pura F (Tuscarora), Soni (Mayan, Apache, Yaqui), and Jennifer (Tuscarora.)



To our elders

who teach us of our creation

and of our past

so that we may preserve Mother Earth

for ancestors yet to come.

We are the land.

This is dedicated to our relatives before us,

thousands of years ago
And to the 150 million who were exterminated

across the Western Hemisphere

in the first four hundred year's time, starting in 1492

To those who have kept their homelands
And to the nations extinct due to mass slaughter,

slavery, deportation and disease unknown to them
And to the ones who are subjected to the same treatment today

To the ones who survived the relocations
And those who died along the way

To those who carried on traditions

and live strong among their people
To those who left their communities by force or by choice

and through generations no longer know who they are

To those who search and never find
To those who turn away the so-called "non-accepted"
To those who bring us together
And to those living outside, keeping touch, the voice for many

To those that make it back to live and fight the struggles of their people
To those that give up
And those who do not care

To those who abuse themselves and others
And those who revive again

To those who are physically, mentally, or spiritually incapable, by accident or by birth

To those who seek strength in our spirituality and way of life
And those who exploit it
– even our own

To those who fall for the lies and join the dividing lines that keep us fighting amongst each other

To the outsiders who step in
– good or bad
And those of us who don't know better

To the leaders and prisoners of war, politics, crime, race and religion
– innocent or guilty

To the young
The old
The living
And the dead

To our brothers and sisters in all living things across Mother Earth

and her beauty we've destroyed

and denied the honour that the Creator has given each individual:
The truth that lies in our hearts

All my relations

Tuesday's Tasty Treat #8

Mutt Muffins, bacon flavor

PSA: Does the "5 Second Rule" apply to our 4-legged companions?

I've mentioned in earlier posts that Stumpy is a working dog. Her day includes numerous tasks around the house and in my life including, but not limited to chief bottle washer, navigator and co-pilot,and coyote patrol,

In the past Stumpy has worked at the food bank, and done stints as both a and cover dog and calendar model.

Most recently, I mentioned she sometimes washed my kitchen floor. That got me thinking about the 5 Second Rule. As a concerned dog person, I wouldn't want Stumpy eating anything that wasn't fit for human consumption. Although I don't eat dog food, most quality dog foods, on the marked at least meet, if not exceed, people food, in regard to standard.

I found this diagram that may help you to decide whether or not our 4 legged companions should be cleaning our floors. Although it's intended for humans, working on the theory that I wouldn't feed my dog anything I didn't feel was up to human standards.

Click to bigify!


You know what? Never mind. Stumpy wouldn't be happy with a demotion and my kitchen floor would have to be washed a lot more frequently if Stumpy wasn't on the job!


"The 30-Second Rule, A Decision Tree" by Audrey Fukuman and Andy Wright. Click to enlarge.

If you have ever rescued/adopted a dog

then you will recognize these dogs... even if you haven't. And, you will laugh hysterically!

Icanbeagooddog! Icanbeagooddog! Icanbeagooddog! ...a good dog like you wanted

and a more recent (yesterday's, in fact) post
Dogs and moving


She even looks like Stumpy, don't you think?


Thanks to Calsidy Rose who blogs at We Don't Rent Puppies for turning me on to Allie's Hyperbole And a Half!

Artwork in today's post has been lifted from Hyperbole And a Half!
Thanks for the laughs, Allie!

Waiting patiently

When I am in the kitchen, Stumpy waits patiently (or not) in the next room;
for as long as she can stand it.

She inches forward when I am not looking. If I turn to look at her she sits, looking innocent and waiting expectantly.

As long as she doesn't get too close, I don't mind.

Sorry Stumpy, you can't have one of these oatmeal-raisin whoopie pies with a cream cheese centers. They have raisins!


Here! Have a pig's ear, instead! <----I don't kow where this link came from and I've spent about an hour trying to get rid of it!

She does get called in to wash the floor, frequently, when I'm the kitchen!

Stumpy's never too busy to help out, when I need her!

Amusing Stumpy

isn't that difficult


She'll just hang onto this toy for what seems like forever.


And give it a tug, every once in awhile, to make sure I am still attached.

Stimulating Stumpy #2

Please send kitties

Sunday's Snooze #13

Took place in the sun

protected from the wind

Sunday's Snooze #13

Zzzzzzzzzz's took place in the sun

protected from the wind

Please join us!

Paws crossed


We can make a difference!

PSA Cellphone GPS Safety

This was on the news last night
Smartphone picture uploads can reveal location of your children's home, school, and play areas
and included this video


Stalking through Cellphone Pictures

Protect yourself and your loved ones from unwanted attention because of an uploaded photo from your cellphone.

When you post to social media outlets like Twitter, Facebook, Craigslist, and Ebay people who want to know where you live just have to click on one of your family pictures and they can get the geo-coordinates of where that picture was taken. \You can pull up anything on the internet with longitude and latitude coordinates and your computer will find that exact location through the internet.

If your taking pictures that will be posted on the internet use a regular camera. But, in the case of an emergency or a hilarious shot, turn off the GPS tracking on your phone.

If you don't know how to do that, you can either take your phone back to the store you purchased it and have them show youo, or google it!

There is a large exception to this rule: Smartphones. The cameras in these devices are already equipped with the specialized hardware to automatically add geolocation information to the pictures at the time they are taken.

Most people don't realize that the action of automatic geotagging takes place on their smart phones, either because it is enabled by default, not exposed the user as an option, or was asked and then forgotten. As a result, individuals often share too much information about their location, right down to the exact Latitude and Longitude when snapping photos with their smartpphone and posting them online.

Take two minutes...

Paws crossed for our Veterans


That they come home safe and whole

That they're shown support, respect and appreciation for their willingness to serve and their great sacrifice

Stimulating Stumpy #1

Since we returned to dirtville Stumpy is bored, maybe even depressed. Actually, it began when Alf went to live in California. She spends a lot of time sitting out on the deck, gazing up the street, as if watching for Alf to return from his daily jaunt about the neighborhood.


My attempts to amuse and stimulate her are shortlived


This one was good for about 3 minutes

Then she wants back out


to continue her sentry duty

Sunday's Snooze #12

Sunday's snooze, once again, included a sunbath


and blue-ing